I watched the first 35 to 40 minutes.I haven't seen the film since the theatre,and rightfully so,it doesn't deserve my damn time.Something I did notice this time out though,and it is a direct comparison to Lucas'own terrible Star Wars prequels.All of those films started bad and just went nowhere fast.There was no steep drop in caliber of story or action at any point,just consistent crappiness.Not here though.I said it when it came out and I'll stand by it,Crystal Skull starts off pretty good.It quickly reintroduces Indy and the basis of the adventure he is in for(mysterious artifact sought by Soviets).We follow Indy as he has a fistfight on a rocket sled and gets nuked while hiding in a (lead lined)refrigerator.I never had a problem with that by the way.We catch up with what his life became in the ensuing two decades since "Last Crusade",and see him at his dayjob as a Proffesor of Archaeology.He meets the character we eventually learn to be his son,and they go on the quest to find .....
And that's where this thing shits the bed...HARD.This is the point in the classic Indy film where we see his plane travelling by map(greatly parodied in the new Muppet film,by the way),and he starts to punch and think his way through the journey.It just falls apart here,totally.Instead we get-
-John Hurt giving a terrible or great performance as Indy's old colleague gone bonkers
-Karen Allen 30 years past her prime
-CGI jungle,followed by CGI ants that would have sucked in one of the Brendan Fraser Mummy films
-Shia Lebeouf,King of CGI monkeys
-Indy's old partner turning on him and rejoining 19 times
-Oh and the whole thing is about aliens(I don't truly mind that either,it was just done poorly)
Steven Spielberg recently said that they have a concept for the next Indy movie ready.Please stop,my childhood can't take no more!
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